Since I have some new and exciting things to share in the near future, I wanted to start with a “re-introduction” post. Mainly because while everything in my “About me” post is there, it’s not always up to date because our spiritual journeys are never ending, and growth is always occurring. (At least, it should be, right?)
For all the basic info, hit up that about me post, and you see my education, my fundamental foundations, and beliefs. These things that don’t really change. This post is about some of my current path, things that are new or that might change later, depending on if they fit who I am, or if they are simply a period of reflection, or ephemeral beauty.
I am a polytheist, animist and mystic. My journey has led to explore many things, and ideas. I currently exist in a place where I practice alone but celebrate my community. Who is in that community might change, like the tide- there is an ebb and flow to it. I care deeply about those that enter my sphere, whether they stay or not. I am spiritual, not religious. I am not limited anymore to religious dogma or constraints. I spend my days sometimes enraptured by the beauty of flowers and the sun, and the nature of the Earth and Universe, sometimes in tears by the ugliness of human behavior. Sometimes I am terrified by the indifference of Nature, and my heart fills with a simple act of kindness.
My journey has led me to understand the nature of being a mystic. Mystics contemplate oneness with the Divine, with God/Goddess, and there are different mystics out there. I don’t agree with them all, I’ve learned- in fact, there’s some big-name mystics out there that I think missed a whole point in their perspective. I believe that living is just as important as Oneness. I believe living IS Oneness.
We are living here, on this little planet, in our physical, imperfect bodies temporarily. Life is fleeing and impermanent. Even if one believes in reincarnation, the person we become in the next life is not the same as who we are now, in this moment. That is why living NOW is important. Some people talk about suffering and focusing on the spiritual mind- ignoring our physical self, our community and relationships. Our physical self is the most impermanent part of us, right? Experience it. Feel the pleasure of the sun on your skin, the wind in your hair, the passionate kiss of someone you love.
What if The Goddess, and by Goddess, I mean however the Divine comes to you is experiencing these sensations with you, through you. When you make love, she makes love. When you show kindness to others, she not only shows that kindness too, but she also receives it. When you cry, she cries. When you sing (even horribly), she sings. This is Oneness. We don’t have to sit and meditate hours each day for years to achieve this. We don’t need to isolate ourselves in a shack in the desert, or a cave in a forest to achieve this. We don’t have to wait for someone we love to die to realize their importance , or to suffer through hardships to experience the joy of “ease”. We don’t have to walk this life separated from the Divine if we invite The Divine to walk with us in all things.
One of the most influential books I’ve read in the past couple of years that completely changed my path is called Wild Mercy by Mirabei Starr. Not because I was like "Omg, she’s so right on everything", but because it challenged me to find my own answers. I dug deeply, I talked to My own Goddess, The Morrigan, about things, and to the Universe itself where I met my belief that there is simply a Divine out there and within me. And we are connected, always. That Divine is never apart from me, even if I don't always realize it. And the one thing I walked away from is that we, as humans, have a huge power that we reject. Control of our own degree of separation from the Divine. We yearn for some sort of magical place where all is right, all feels good, all feels happy and joyful and together with the Goddess.
It's there. I have found gratitude in my tears and pain. Oh, trust me, I don’t want either. This is not some toxic positivity crap about accepting our pain as part of our growth. I hate crying, and I hate my pain. But it’s a part of me (though I don’t stop striving to find answers from the medical community.) Instead of fighting it though, I’ve learned to step back and self-care. When I take care of myself, I take care of The Goddess. When I struggle, when I falter, when I think I’m in the darkest of place, it’s not because she is not with me. It’s because I am human, and this is part of the human condition. Pretending otherwise is not useful to me.
The human condition will never change, though that for me doesn’t mean we should stop trying to make things better for ourselves. If we treat ourselves like we carry The Goddess within, what happens? And what happens when we start treating others like they carry The Goddess within as well? What happens when we start showing empathy and compassion to the world? What if we stop looking forward to a heaven in the sky or other world, and look for a peace within and around us? What if we share that peace with others, without judgement? If we live knowing and understanding that living is precious, (and not just certain types of living), what happens?
Yeah, I know, it’s a bit idealistic and there are some humans that will never get beyond “me, me, my, my, mine, mine”. But we can’t allow them to control our world, or our perception. We can only be ourselves. If we are filled with love, empathy, compassion, and that’s what we give- even if it’s not returned by the world, it means we are being our authentic, Divine-filled self. We honor our Goddess every time we choose these things. Does it guarantee happiness, a life without suffering or struggle? Absolutely not. But it guarantees we rise to our Higher and Authentic self.
That’s where I am now in my journey. This is why I choose to do what I do. To work as a spiritual companion, a priestess and nurturer. It’s why I’m quiet often, not always updating my blog or Instagram, because I need to self-care, and take care of others. While I have low points, and suffer chronic pain and depression, I still do my best to rise and extend my hand to those that need it and will accept it. And of course, I understand these are my beliefs. One of my core practices is that my practices and beliefs are not anyone else’s- and I respect all beliefs and practices (that don’t involve hate, forcing your beliefs on others or harming others.) I encourage others to develop their own spiritual practice. What works for me might not work for you, and thus, we work together to learn and explore. This is who I am.
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