Things have been beautifully busy these days. Homeschool, a lot of spiritual work and my own work has led to many tiring hours, though it’s not a complaint. It’s good to feel busy. I recently finished up my second to the last module being complete. If things go smoothly, I’ll finish my last module, and be done with my CMC program. Which is an amazing feeling!
Today’s #31DaysMorrigan prompt was battle scar, and it’s something that’s been on my mind for a few days now. I think it’s something a lot of us can resonate with, particularly when we look at it the idea that in some ways, we are all fighting something. Warrior does not always mean that romanticized image of a person in armor, with a sword in one hand, a shield in the other. Warrior does not always mean modern day soldier in an organized military.
Warrior is anyone fighting a battle. And that battle looks different for everyone. It can be the day to day battle- finding will to press on and live, like poverty, unemployment and starvation. It can be a medical or health battle- cancer and other diseases, chronic pain, and drug addiction. It can be a mental battle- depression, anxiety or severe self esteem issues. It can be abuse, trauma, and neglect. It can be anything that leaves a scar- physical, emotional or mental. The visible and the invisible marks we carry.
It can be anything that leaves a scar- physical, emotional, or mental. The visible and the invisible marks we carry.
But what is a scar? A scar is the healed but marred tissue that is left after a wound. It might be physical tissue, and it might be the unseen mental tissue. But we have to remember- a scar is something that has healed. It’s a sign that once you were hurt, maybe broken, on the brink of death (physical or emotional) but somehow, through your own strength, and the grace of the Gods, you survived. A scar is proof you endured. You healed, albeit never to return to your original self, and have pressed forward.
For me, scars are beautiful. Not the glamorous, physical beauty (though some scars really are gorgeous things in my mind!) but the beautiful reminder that sometimes life is unfair, unjust, difficult and yes, even traumatizing. But after pain, after the struggle, life can go on, and we can thrive. We can grow and we can transform horrible into something else.
A meditation I’ve done a few times involves a crow, and The Morrigan. In it, I take something festering within me- trauma, personal history, fears and I offer it to a crow. I don’t just hand it to the crow, but rip it off me. Or cut it off. Because these things aren’t easily removed. The crow consumes it, and gives me a gift in return. I then proceed further down a road until I encounter The Morrigan, who blesses my wound and starts the healing process. Sometimes it’s in exchange for the gift the crow gave me, sometimes it’s something else. I am hoping to sit down at some point and re-record it to share.
And no, this is not to glamorize suffering and scars and hardship. It’s a simple truth. These things happen and they suck. That is the nature of life, that there are going to be some difficult times, sometimes so difficult that we might think life is not worth it. At the time, it might even be true. But in the end, I believe we all have the strength to endure, the strength to fight, the strength to overcome and thrive. We can defeat the big bad bosses that life sometimes throws at us, particularly when we turn to big badass goddesses like The Morrigan. Is it easy? Fuck no. But the alternative isn’t pretty, and it isn’t healthy.
And I definitely want to tell you- you might think you are weak, you might think you are losing the battle, but the fact that you are here, reading this means you have not given up. Fight on, friend- and if you really need help- find an ally. Having friends, family and allies increases the chance of our survival, and making it out of our battles with minimal damage. And there are plenty of people out there, willing to help you heal.
So to all of the warriors out there, small and large, in different stages of their battle, I celebrate you and your strength.