In 2023, I picked a word of the year. It was, in part, my own desire to improve, grow and be a better person for myself. I hadn’t really thought about what it might entail, at least not from an action perspective. I picked the word transmutation. I put, in my bullet journal, the definition as “the action of changing or the state of being changed into another form.” I included the note “the lifting up of the mind and body to aid in the spiritual transformation into a healthier, balanced higher self.
Now, at the time, I knew transformation and transmutation were different things. I picked transmutation as my word because I wanted that changed to be internal- I wanted to be different- though maybe not completely, but enough that there was a recognized difference. The plan was to change my brain, heal my spirit in a way that it changed too. How I’d go about that, I wasn’t 100% sure, but I’d find a way.
It's 2024 now, and have I transmuted into a whole new person?
Yes and no.
It’s absolutely a longer process than one might think. And what I didn’t account for was the need for me to cocoon- to enter a chrysalis state of being. I detached a lot from the world. I didn’t blog, I didn’t post much to social media for “business”, etc. While I didn’t completely detach from my friends and family, because most of my friends are online, I wasn’t around as much. That was probably the hardest part.
Honestly, at times, it was very lonely, but being in this state helped me to reconnect with parts of myself that I had lost touch with. It helped me to shed the parts of myself that I didn’t like or care for, the parts that were more toxic or not needed. They say change is uncomfortable, and I’m the kind of person that really does not like the process of change. I know why now, thanks to a lot of exploration of my shadows, and while I’m not “healed”, I understand what a work in progress I am.
In a way, I’m still in this chrysalis, and have no plans to force myself to emerge before I’m ready. However, I am feeling it all out. Maybe I don’t have to reach out too far- if I do that, I start being someone I’m not. I force things into being too complicated. I start skipping out on the things I enjoy.
I have a long way to go. The things I am enjoying however, are nature. Hiking and camping, and fires. I’m really missing them now, in the dead of winter. I’m still not a winter person and going out in the cold is one of the furthest things from fun that I can think of. I’m enjoying writing and drawing and learning Japanese. I’m enjoying gaming again. I took a lot of time to declutter and rearrange my space- and doing something I was uncomfortable doing- spending money on my space so it was more comfortable and to my pleasure.
I’m enjoying meeting with my seekers each month, and am working, in my own way (aka, trusting the Universe to send them in my direction) on building my clientele. I love my monthly Morrigan’s group. There’s something so powerful about building that sort of connection, not only in the name of my Queen, but with others so called to her presence.
Some of the hardest parts to all this was escaping the toxicity of social media. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and even the ones that are spawning in the wake of these dumpster fires are toxic places if you don’t cultivate your list carefully. There’s less and less control- on almost all my media pages, I see more ads and “sponsored” and “suggested” posts and so much of it is stuff I don’t want to see.
I’d delete it all if I could- if I didn’t have pictures that I can only find on FB now because I’ve had it so long. If it weren’t the only way to talk to certain people. And in today’s world, you can’t be an online business and service without a social media (or at least, it’s a whole lot harder.) Learning to set boundaries, and to find balance is important- in fact, it’s key to being a happier person, I think.
My hope, over 2024, is to return to blogging, and interact with more people as a spiritual companion. To continue my work as priestess and aid others in developing and traveling their own unique spiritual path. All while continuing my own path and development. Change is never easy, or comfortable, but it’s usually needed. When we don’t change, life becomes stale, and we become stuck. Does everyone need a complete transmutation? Probably not, but I’m betting most folks could do with a little cocoon time, a little shedding of the things that aren’t so good for us and some pruning to help us grow.
I hope you find some growth and the change you need in 2024, and I’m happy to be here, to walk beside you, should you need the company. And now to figure out my word for 2024...