The first weekend of the Morrigan’s Call retreat kicked off this Saturday. Normally, this is a 3 day event in person, but for the second year in a row, it had to be done online. Last year, it was hard. It was my first workshops, and I had been looking forward to them so much, and sharing that experience with a good friend. That friend passed in April 2020, and that person was a shining ball of sunlight and fire, an inspiration and mentor in our community. Our retreat, while successful, carried our grief, and I think in many ways, changed the dynamic of the retreat.
This year has been different. While we still carry our grief, there has been some healing. This year, so far, has very much felt very similar to the actual event. Last year, I felt like The Morrigan had us wrapped in her wings to comfort us. This year, I feel her presence guiding us. Each meditation feels as though she’s standing there, ready to strip us of our burdens and fears, break us down and remake us. She was there, among us, supporting us, sometimes gently pushing someone forward, sometimes shoving. There were tears of pain and of joy. We have had a ton of new faces, many just starting out on their paths for the first time. It has highlighted, in many ways, why I do what I do.
There is something so powerful about hearing from others that my words, guided by Her, have touched them. That it has brought tears and laughter, and broken them down so they can start to heal, that they have been challenged, and guided. I don’t say this as a brag, but I am deeply humbled that She has allowed me to convey her words and presence to others. This, I am renewed to feel, is my calling. This is why I picked service to her as her priestess.
Because I am a healer. I’ve been broken before, and it was her guidance that allowed me to break off the things that I don’t need, the things that poison me, the things that keep me weighed down. I was able to rise and begin to grow again, stronger, healthier, into my authentic self. I continue to grow, and evolve. And I help others do the same. And a lot of this started when I attended the Morrigan’s Call retreat.
The retreat so far has had five amazing workshop presenters, plus myself- and 8 workshops. Each of them were awesome and insightful. We also had some fabulous meal conversations, meditations and the sharing of our experiences of Badb and Macha, as well as some basic introductions to both facets for our newcomers. Anu is planned for next week. Each meal- lunch and dinner- was filled with the sharing of journeys and experience. It is such a powerful, generous, wise and supportive community. There is such a feeling of camaraderie.
It’s only the first weekend, and I feel like I could talk much more about the event and not say enough about it. The important part, I think, is how renewed I feel. There was an intense moment during a meditation I was giving that I felt Macha’s touch. She whispered in my ear that I was silly to doubt my own skills, that the words I had written were exactly what she wanted me to write and share. That I had done well, that my words would help others find her, and let her touch them. I teared up midway through the meditation (though I did manage to get through it!) and sure enough, discussions after showed that I had done what I sought to do: provide a meditation that would aid others.
I’m looking forward to weekend 2, though I am stressing a little on my second workshop. (High standards!) and I am looking forward to next year’s live event- a whole year away. But it’ll be a good wait, a chance to continue to grow and build my skill set. To continue to build my own relationship with The Morrigan, and each of her sisters- Macha, Badb and Anu. I believe a part of my polytheistic life is devotion and prayer because it leads to the transformation I desire in my life, the shedding of the things I don’t want or need, and the creation of the things I desire in order to create the life I want. Hail An Morrigan!