It’s that time of year where my creativity is lowest, and my SAD is highest. March and April is the tail end of a marathon, where I am so tired of being inside, tired of the dark and tired of the cold. While the optimal answer is a trip to somewhere outdoors, warm and bright, that’s just not feasible. So instead, I’ll share some things about me, and get some things off my chest.
Before I start, I did want to note that recently, I had a realization when doing a writing prompt about my life philosophies. One of my strongest personal tenets is to honor the fact that each of us is an individual, and that our journeys are all different. It’s one of the reasons I do what I do. I might not practice or believe or follow the same path as anyone else, but I do choose to walk beside others. It is in that choice that I share these pet peeves- not to demean, but to offer a way to do so- walking with others, in a way that promotes tolerance and respect. There is no such thing as tolerating the intolerant; you can either respect someone and their beliefs reciprocally, or you don’t.
1. I’m a BIG video game nerd. I’ve been playing video games since I was kid- my first gaming memory is playing the original Legend of Zelda, Super Mario bros. As a kid, we owned an NES, and then a Sega Genesis. When I babysat, and the kids went to bed, I’d play their SNES. My relationship with my husband developed around video games too. While I played Phantasy Star IV in High School, he introduced me to Final Fantasy, and well…except for FFXI which I only got to play a month of, we’ve played every Final Fantasy, including FFXIV. We collect figures, and now I’m raising my kids to be gamers as well.
2. Pagan standard time is not real. It’s honestly annoying and its disrespectful to others and particularly to anyone running a group or meeting. It drives me nuts. If I, or an event/meeting I'm attending say a meeting, ritual or event starts at a certain time, you better bet I’m starting it on time, or that I'm getting really cranky when it's NOT starting on time. Valuing someone’s time is a good way to show your respect to them and honor their presence. This includes showing up on time, and letting people know in advance if you can’t make an appointment. This goes for in person, as well as online. I find too many people seem to somehow believe that online is somehow optional for respecting one’s time. And while I get being forgetful, this is why I started to rely on using alarms and alerts on my phone and computer. (Also, don't be too early unless invited!)
3. I’m a big believer that just because something is “everyday”, and “normal”, it can still be a miracle. The sun shining on the Earth is a miracle. The rain that quenches the Earth is a miracle. Love, happiness, friendship, Life…it’s so miraculous that we are here, in this time and in this place, and in this moment, together, experiencing the world- for good or for bad. A flower bloomed? How cool and miraculous is that?
4. Blaming Mercury in Retrograde. I get it, Mercury in Retrograde is definitely a thing, but when we allow it to affect (and effect) us, you give control to it. I stopped giving it the ability to do that. Do I stop and reflect and use it as a quiet moment? Of course, but I also don’t sit around changing my plans, letting things that need to get done go undone. If something needs done, and they tell me it didn’t get done because Mercury in Retrograde, you can bet I’m a bit upset. We can’t stop living for a few weeks every few months because of Mercury in Retrograde. It also goes for wallowing and whining (I know, I know, that sounds harsh.) – it’s ok to complain about stuff, but only we can control our reactions, right? You can acknowledge Mercury in retrograde is making things tough, but you can keep pressing forward, one way or another.
5. I have lived in Ireland twice- the first time I studied abroad in Cork for an academic year in 1999-2000, and the second time I spent a summer, pregnant with my first child in Dublin while my husband did research for his PhD in 2006. Both were amazing, and I was in the broom closet both times. I would love to go back and connect again with the Land and the Gods this time. I would love to explore the Ring of Kerry, visit Belfast (I never made it up north!) and more. My favorite place was probably Galway, and if I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to let go feeling homesick, and go out every day and night to explore more.
6. Stop expecting everything for free. While I aim to offer services for free, and so do many other practitioners, it’s disrespectful to assume everything would be free. I’ve worked hard, studied hard, and paid to gain my credentials. Everyone deserves a living wage, and priestess work is no exception. Reading tarot/oracle/divination is time and skill set and there deserves to be a reciprocity. If someone offers it for free, it is a wonderful gift. But stop expecting and most certainly, stop demanding it. Stop demeaning those in a spiritual business for asking to be paid for their time, skills and education. And stop demeaning yourself, if you are someone doing everything for free. Look, we all know capitalism sucks, but at the same time, money is not the problem- hoarding money is. When you pay for a service, you're helping someone pay their bills, buy food, offering security and opportunity, and giving their families stability.
7. I am a forever student. I love to learn, if I could stay in school and study everything, I would. It would just cost a bit too much. 😉 But that doesn’t mean I have ever stopped learning and studying. Sometimes I feel like I should focus on one topic, but I can’t help it- I love learning.
8. Stop claiming authority over things you have no right to claim authority over. You can only speak for yourself. Your path is yours and yours alone. Your relationship with your gods is yours alone. My path is mine and mine alone. No one else gets a say. No one speaks for the Gods, no matter what they claim. Can we educate in matters of lore and history? Of course. Can we offer ways one might better connect, explore and experience? Yes- those are called tools. But that’s about as far as it can go. I can teach about meditation, but I cannot make meditation work for you. And if something doesn’t feel right to you, that doesn’t mean it’s not right for others. I think of the tenet “to be silent” put forth for witches, and honestly, it’s not a bad thing, but in terms of spirituality, does it apply? Absolutely. Keep silent about what you think is the right way or the wrong way, and let others walk their path. (And it becomes different if someone asks. Then it becomes ok- but remember to share your journey without judgement. At least to me, that’s the key.)
9. You know how I said I was a gamer? That also means my biggest and favorite music genre is…video game music. Yes, I do listen to modern and popular music, but chances are, I’ve got a game soundtrack, or a remix, cover and/or instrumental version of gaming music on in the background. My favorite composers are Masayoshi Soken, Nobuo Uemtasu, and Shoji Meguro. If you know who those are, you are awesome, btw.
10. Stop asking for permission. "Think for yourself. Question authority. "Yes, those are lyrics but they are also the truth. This goes back to number 8 in a way, but in a different way. This is about claiming your authority- your sovereignty- for yourself. I feel frustrated at times when I see people ask questions in a certain way. “Can I offer this to The Morrigan?” Of course you can. You don’t need my permission. Seriously though, one of the biggest steps you can make in your own spiritual journey is to stop asking permission to do something in regard to your spiritual and magickal practice, and to do it. Learn from it. Grow from mistakes.
Think about your phrasing. Phrasing is important, believe it or now. It’s mindset. One takes away your power, the other allows room to learn, without diminishing your control of your self. Want a better way to phrase it? “What are some good offerings to The Morrigan?”
I’d totally answer: “Well, most people, in a shared UPG believe things like dairy, butter, whiskey, and coffee are amongst her favorite offerings, but what are you called to offer?” I think when we think for ourselves, we open ourselves to their messages.
But perhaps, what I really need to say: You don’t need permission from anyone to practice as you see fit. You can learn, and you can respect cultures (cultural appreciation over culture appropriation) and practices- but in the end, it’s your job to follow the journey your higher self is leading you on. Do what feels right to you and stop worrying about what others think or say.
All this might come off as telling people what to do, and I see the irony of that. And I hope that you see that too, but also realize that in the end, I’m telling you to walk your own path, and sharing your own path with others in a way that supports and encourages, without judgement. Honor the uniqueness and beauty of the spiritual journey, for yourself, and for others. Each is a delicate, beautifully wrought, and never the same, like snowflakes. We can share space, and still be ourselves.
I hope this got you to know me a little better, but also got you thinking a little.
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